


Even in My Dreams, I Can’t Have You

by BangtanLuv9394



Series: Oneus/Onewe University AU [4]
Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, College, Mentions of Keonhee and Hwanwoong, Moving On, Post-Break Up, alpha!geonhak, beta!dongju, beta!seoho, but just for one person, current! Dongju and Geonhak, kinda sad, past!Seoho and Geonhak, sad Seoho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28640985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BangtanLuv9394/pseuds/BangtanLuv9394
Summary: Six months after his break-up, Seoho is still learning how to get over Geonhak. Things are finally getting better... until he overhears his roommates discussing Geonhak’s new boyfriend.
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Lee Seoho, Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Son Dongju | Xion
Series: Oneus/Onewe University AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073201
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Even in My Dreams, I Can’t Have You

**Author's Note:**

> This is story number 3 in my one-shot series! I suggest reading at least part 1 for a bit more background info, but you’d probably be fine without it.

“So you two are official?” Youngjo asked, phone pressed to his ear as he sprawled over the dark brown leather couch. Yonghoon was in the kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil his water, so he could cook some ramen, impatiently drumming his fingers along the marbled countertops.

Geonhak’s chuckle traveled over the phone, “Yeah, we talked about it yesterday. He’s my boyfriend now.” 

“Wow,” the brown haired man, rolled onto his back, resting his head on the armrest, pressing the button to put the phone on to speakerphone, so Yonghoon could hear too. “Yonghoon’s here, so you’re on speaker. Tell us how that happened? It’s been less than a month, right?”

“It’s just been going well,” he could practically hear the shrug the other did over the phone, voice a little indifferent. It was clear he was trying not to make a big deal about it. “I was worried at first, after what happened at the samgyeopsal place, but he’s really been trying. There have been a few moments, but we always talk it out, and it’s been going really well. Dongju makes me laugh a lot. He’s sweet, and funny. He’s kinda a brat, but he—“

“Good in bed?” Yonghoon interrupted, leaning over the couch now, bowl in his hand. 

“Has a good heart,” Geonhak finished. “We haven’t even slept together, Yonghoon. We’re taking it slow.” 

They both laughed, Yonghoon kicking Youngjo’s legs down, so he could sit on the couch as well. “We’re proud of you, Geonhak. I know you had a hard time putting yourself out there.” 

“Yeah,” Youngjo continue, throwing his legs on Yonghoon’s lap, so he could continue to lay down, stretching out fully while ignoring his cousin’s expression of disgust. “I’m happy to see you doing so well. Harin said you only sighed twice yesterday!”

“Harin needs to stop telling everyone my business,” the other said over the phone, but there really was no malice in his voice. They were all friends anyways, and it was bound to get out eventually. “I’m happy though. It’s not perfect, and I still miss him... but it’s better. We really get along well, and Dongju has a surprisingly warm heart. He always wants to make sure I’m happy, even though we do bicker sometimes. It’s playful though. I like it. Man, it’s crazy this happened so fast!” 

“Who would have thought!!” Yonghoon laughed loudly, slurping his noodles. “I would have never thought you two would start dating so quickly.” 

“Who’s dating?”

They all froze, and Youngjo could hear Geonhak’s breath catch—obviously recognizing whose voice it was—before the line went dead. Looking up, the two alphas met Seoho’s eyes, who was standing at the door way, toeing off his shoes with a bright smile and a white plastic bag in his hand. He pushed his glasses further up his nose, setting the bag on the kitchen counter, “Who were you guys talking to?” 

“You’re home early,” was all Youngjo could say, ignoring Seoho’s real question and slipping his phone into his pocket. The younger man was practically gone 80% of the time, far too busy with his doctorates course. Most night, Yonghoon and Youngjo didn’t even see him, but here he was, home before one of his night classes was even supposed to end, red hair a mess, glasses sliding down his nose again, dazzling smile, and cheeks red with the cold. 

Seoho smiled, slight confusion in his eyes, shrugging off his coat. “My professor’s appendix bursted—kinda ironic since we were working on a machine for appendix surgery in a different class of mine—but class was canceled. He said that he’ll switch class to an online course for the rest of the year because he doesn’t want come back in. So I’ll have Monday and Wednesday nights free now.” He hung his jacket on the hooks by the door. “So who is da—“

“Is that chicken?” Yonghoon cut him off, trying to avoid the questions as much as possible while pointing to the bag the beta set on the counter. He jolted off the couch, rushing to open up the box, breathing in the warm smell of seasoned fried chicken. They both knew it probably seemed a bit odd, but they wanted to avoid the subject as much as possible. 

Ever since Geonhak and Seoho broke up, things had been awkward. Geonhak was one of their closest friends, but Seoho was too. They avoided each other as much possible, but it was difficult to avoid each other completely when they had such a tight knit friend group. The two did their best to be civil in public and when they had birthday parties, but they mostly avoided each other. Everyone tried to avoid talking about them too. 

The beta paused for a moment, brow raised before nodding, “It is. I figured since I have the day off, we could eat together. Then maybe go out to a bar or something. I have gone out in ages. It’ll be so nice now to have some free time. Online classes are way easier!” 

The two alphas moved into the kitchen, looking at the glistening red chicken that smelt amazingly spicy and sweet. Youngjo grinned, “I can eat with you, but I’m supposed to meet Hwanwoong tonight. We’re celebrating Valentine’s day a bit early because I work on that day.”

“I have to have my papers graded by midnight or my mentor will kill me,” Yonghoon groaned, looking down at the chicken. “But I can take an hour break to eat with you guys.” He was already opening up a pair of chopsticks, ignoring Youngjo’s comment that he literally just ate ramen, and grabbing a drumstick. The three chatted about their days while they ate—Youngjo had a particularly interesting story about a customer he had at work today, and the two younger boys teased Yonghoon about his younger boyfriend, Giwook—until all that was left was bones and a few drops of cola in the one liter bottle. 

Seoho started cleaning up the chopsticks while Youngjo wiped the counter with some wet wipes, humming softly. “Oh yeah,” the beta paused, tossing some napkins into the box of bones. “Who were you talking to early? The person who is dating someone? Anyone I know?” 

Yonghoon had already excused himself at that point, locked in his room to force himself to grade his essays, leaving Youngjo frozen in the kitchen, scrambling to think of anyone or anything to say. His mind was racing a mile and minute. The alpha blurts out the first name that comes to mind.

“It was Keonhee.” 

“Keonhee?” The beta’s eyes widen in surprise, glasses sliding down his nose just a bit before he pushed them back up. “Keonhee is... dating someone?” He question, slightly in disbelief.

“Y-yup,” Youngjo squeaked out, turning away from the younger to throw away some trash from their meal, but he really just didn’t want to look at him. Why the hell did he say Keonhee?! It was probably the most ridiculous choice in the world. He could have said anyone—anyone other than Keonhee would have been fine. The alpha resisted the urge to swear. 

“That seems... odd,” he threw the bag of trash into a larger bin. “I mean, I’m not saying he can’t date someone, but he is asexual. And I know asexual people do date, but he’s always kind of been uninterested in dating. I also talked to him today at lunch time... he didn’t say anything...” Youngjo was sweating, swallowing hard as he tried to avoid the other’s eyes, but he knew it was too late. He was caught in a lie. “Youngjo, who were you really on the phone with?” 

“It was...” he debated about trying to lie again, but he knew it wouldn’t work. If he said any other name, Seoho would question him even more. He pulled off his hat, looking down as he spoke. “I didn’t want you to find out this way...It was Geonhak. He has a new boyfriend.” 

It felt like time froze. 

“Oh,” was all that Seoho could say, maybe three minutes after Youngjo first spoke. 

“Seoho, I’m sorry. I—“

“It’s okay;” Seoho said softly, keeping the alpha from aplogizing for something that wasn’t even his fault. A small smile dawned on the beta’s face, but his eyes couldn’t hide the pain. His voice trembler, “I-I’m happy for him. Really. He deserved to be happy. I... I couldn’t provide that for him.” 

“Seoho, you know that—“

He brushed the other off as he reached to comfort him, not wanting to be around anyone at the moment. The beta felt like the world around him was starting to crash down, and he needed to leave. His already shattered heart was dissolving into dust. He needed to get away. “I’m going to head out for a bit,” Seoho pulled his coat on, sliding on his shoes again, not even sparing a glance at the alpha who kept trying to stop him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Seoho, wait—-“ 

The door slammed in Youngjo’s face. He could see the tears that were in the other’s eyes, waiting to spill, but he also knew when to leave the younger alone. Seoho needed space. Youngjo couldn’t help but curse, wishing that he could go back and erase that conversation entirely. 

————————————————————————

“Another,” Seoho sighed after slamming down his fifth shot, eye unfocused—he wasn’t sure if he had his glasses on or not at this point. The bartender raised a brow, grabbing a larger class and pouring some juice into it, with only one shot of vodka before sliding it in front of the beta who frowned. “What’s this?” 

“You should take it easy,” the bartender smiled. He had no scent either—clearly a beta. “Did you have a rough day?”

Seoho looked at the man with narrowed eyes, taking a sip of the sweet drink he was given. It tasted delicious, especially compared to the shots of liqueur he had been downing. It wasn’t going to help him forget though. It wasn’t going to wash away the pain that was threatening to consume him. “Why would you want to know?” His voice sounded weird and harsh in his own ears, a slight ringing in his head from the alcohol. 

“Hmm, it’s a part of the job,” the bartender smiled softly, pushing back his black hair. He had dimples that Seoho was momentarily fascinated by. “You look like you could use an anonymous person to rant all your feelings too. Besides, you tip well, you’ve bought 6 drinks. It’s the least I could do.” Seoho chuckled lightly at that, leaning down to rest his head against the bar counter. The cool marble felt good against his flushed cheeks. 

“My ex-boyfriend started dating again...” 

The bartend hummed, silently telling the other to continued. Seoho felt like he couldn’t stop once he started—maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was that he’s held in in for so long. Tears pricked in his eyes. “It was so stupid. We were so stupid. I just... I got so busy.” He sighed when he thought back on it. 

Seoho was luckily, at least, that is what he was always told. He was considered gifted ever since he could remember. His mother put him in accelerated courses, pushed him into several after school lessons, and encourage him to skip grades when he could. By the time he was sixteen, he was already in his freshmen year of college, working on a degree in medical technology with a fully paid scholarship. And while everyone would always say how lucky he was to be so smart and blessed, Seoho just felt lonely. 

Seoho met Youngjo when his family moved into the apartment next to his. He was his introduction into a brand new world he never knew about—being a teenager. The alpha spent time playing video games with Seoho, taking him to dumb parties with shitty alcohol, and sneaking out to watch midnight releases of Marvel films. It was his first taste of freedom—the first time he didn’t feel like just a genius child; a prodigy. Youngjo also introduced Seoho to his friends, which included Geonhak. They hit it off immediately. They constantly bickered and fought, but the banter was something that made Seoho smile. He never fought with anyone—he never had the chance. Geonhak made him think, made him angry, made him sad, but he also made him happy. 

They began dating during Geonhak’s first year of college. The younger alpha confessed that he was enamored with the beta, and Seoho couldn’t help but confess his own feelings. Things were great. The playful banter continuer, but it was filled with love and sexual innuendos after they began dating. Geonhak would shower the beta will praise and encouraging words, always treating him with so much care—he was a hopeless romantic. However, Seoho was busy. He was always busy. 

After moving into his masters program, his grant sponsor began demanding more out of him. He spent hours researching new information and writing papers, so he could keep the money that was helping him pay for his college and living expenses. Without the grant money, he would have to drop out because his parents couldn’t afford such a prestigious college on their own. So he worked hard, using his intelligence as a way of earning money from the college, but it came with a price. 

“I was so stressed,” Seoho continued to gush to the beta bartender, who listened intently while washing some glasses. The bar was beginning to fill up, but the man still seemed to find time to pay attention to his story. “I needed to do research and experiments. My grant sponsor was strict with it’s requirements, but it also gave a lot of money. I couldn’t... I wanted to spend time with him. I really did.” He sighed, thinking of all the times he had to cancel their dates because he needed to complete another project. Combined with all the work for his actual courses, he rarely had free time. “We planned to talk about it... but I had to finish a big project. When I got home... he was gone. I had a text message from him saying we’re done. He couldn’t deal with it anymore.” Another shot was handed to him, and he downed it, tears spilling onto the glossy black bar top. “I tried. I-I was really trying to make time. I... I never wanted to hurt him. I was struggling so much too....” 

The bartender didn’t say much, but he put a glass of water in front of him this time as Seoho cried, burying his head into his own arms as he sobbed. It did feel good to let out everything. Seoho never admitted how much it hurt him when Geonhak broke up with him. “Over fucking text,” he muttered into his arms. “I know I’m to blame, that is was my fault but... why couldn’t he understand I needed him there?! Even though it was short, those few moments were the only thing keeping me going. Without him, I... It was hard to continue. He... he deserved better but I...” He didn’t even know what to say. Geonhak did deserve better. He deserved someone who could give him time, attention, and all the love in the world. But... Seoho couldn’t help but feel like he was abandoned in a time of need. No one knew how much he was affected by his work and classes than Geonhak, and when he needed him most, almost on the verge of a breakdown from all the stress, he left him. 

Another sob left him, and he asked for another drink. However, the bartender declined, saying he’s had enough for tonight. Seoho wasn’t even sure how much he had to drink at this point, the bartender had given him drinks as he shared his story. His mind felt fuzzy, and his legs felt weak. The alcohol hit hard. Why was he crying? Why was he sad...”You’re a good guy,” Seoho slurred to the bartender, who just chuckled with his dimpled grin. “You’re handsome too. Why can’t I be like you? I bet you treat someone nice. I bet you’d stay with them in their time of need.” 

He raised his brow, soft smile in his face, “Sorry, buddy. I have a boyfriend, but I’m sure you’ll find someone nice.” Seoho groaned, looking at the glass of water with disgust. His stomach was doing all sorts of flip-flops now. How long had he been here? The bar was packed now; loud music was pumping throughout and people were dancing on the small dance floor. The beta bartender had to step away from the other more often, taking drink orders as more and more customers flooded in, and he could no longer focus on Seoho—though he did check in. Seoho managed to get a few more drinks out of the other bartender, a tall blond alpha—who was scolded by the beta bartender since Seoho was ‘cut off.’ 

He needed to go home, but when he moved to stand, he just fell off the chair, gripping on to the counter for dear life. “Whoa whoa! Be careful!” The same bartender rushed over to help him back into the chair, looking at how drunk the other was. “You should call a friend to come get you. Can you do that?”

“Hmmm,” Seoho nodded his head, clumsily pulling out his phone to text someone to come get him. Maybe Youngjo could get him, or Keonhee would work too. He scrolled through his phone, looking for who to call, but his fingers froze when he heard someone behind him. 

“Seoho?” 

The beta turned around and almost passed out, the world swirling around him. Geonhak was looking at him, concern in those deep eyes. His blond hair was pushed back, letting Seoho stare into those beautiful eyes that he wished he could stare at forever—it had been so long since he was able to see the other like this. How was it that the world was spinning and blurry, but he was so still and clear in front of him? And his scent—god, his scent—filled Seoho’s nose, surrounding him in a beautiful rainforest. It must be a dream. There was no way his Geonhak would be here, looking at him like that. Looking at him like her cared—like he loved him still. 

“Geonhakie,” he slurred, smiling softly. If this was a dream, he would at least enjoy the time being with his love. “I missed you...” 

The alpha’s cheeks flushed red, and he swallowed, turning to his side to talk to a shorter dark haired man with sparkling eyes and red lips. He was also beautiful, and Seoho tried to think how his mind could create someone so beautiful. He remember reading that you can only conjure up faces of people you’ve seen before in your dreams, but he was almost positive he’s never seen someone like him before. The beta looked at Seoho with a small smile before whispering back to Geonhak, lips pressed a bit too close to his alpha’s ear for Seoho’s liking. 

“Seoho... Let’s get you home... I can’t leave you here like this.” He tentatively reached out to wrap his arm around Seoho’s waist, though he kept his chin tilted high, not once looking him directly. The younger—pretty—man that was with Geonhak stepped to help to, placing his hand gently on Seoho’s arm to give just a tiny bit more support. It felt like his legs didn’t work, and he found himself leaning against the alpha more and more, pressing his nose into his scent. He missed this scent. “Seoho...” Geonhak sighed, shifting to grip his waist a bit tighter. It’s not like Youngjo and Yonghoon’s apartment was very far from the bar, but it felt like it took forever with his constant stumbling. 

“Go ahead and bring him up,” the pretty beta smiled softly when they reached the apartment building. “It would feel wrong to intrude in his apartment.” 

“Thank you, Dongju,” Geonhak gave him a soft smile, and Seoho whined softly. That was a look reserved for him... so why was he smiling like that for another? Who is Dongju? He was pulled from his thoughts as the alpha tugged him into the elevator, pressing the button for the third floor and waiting. “Jeez, Seoho... you shouldn’t drink this much...” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Seoho just giggled because he was handsome like this, flushed cheeks and messy hair—he liked the blond hair as well. It was black the last time he saw him, but the blond hair was beautiful, and it was growing out linger now too. 

“Your hair is blond,” he ended up stuttering out loud. “It looks nice. I like this length too.” Seoho couldn’t stop himself from talking. His hands itched to curl his fingers into that luscious hair. This Geonhak from his dream was so gorgeous, like an angel. 

“Don’t say that,” Geonhak looked away from him, but his cheeks turned darker, and his scent became thicker. “I’m not an angel.” 

Seoho didn’t know he said that out loud, but he didnt care because it was true. Geonhak did look like an angel with his white shirt and blond hair. He was Seoho’s angel who smelled like walking through the forest after a rainstorm, and he wrapped his arms as tightly around his alpha’s neck to take in that scent. His nose pressed right against the gland, inhaling deeply: 

“S-Seoho,” the alpha stuttered, setting him down on the couch. When did they get into the apartment? Geonhak gently laid him down, propping a pillow underneath his head before detaching the arms around his neck though Seoho resisted, wanting to keep him close and drown in that scent. “You should drink some water and then sleep.” 

“Stay...” Seoho reached for him, taking his hand. Geonhak seemed to freeze, but he didn’t pull away. That’s because this was a dream, and of course he wouldn’t leave him in his dreams. He was an angel. Ignoring the pounding in his head, he sat up, pulling his alpha closer. “I miss you. I can’t live without you, Geonhak... I love you...” He breathed in the comforting scent once more before pulling the other down into a kiss. Geonhak’s lips felt the same, soft and warm against his, but something was odd. It wasn’t until he felt the hand on his shoulder pushing him away that he realized what it was; Geonhak wasn’t kissing him back. 

“Seoho,” he said softly, and Seoho looked him in the eyes. Pain. That was the only word that could come to mind at the expression his alpha had. “I can’t. I... I have a boyfriend, Seoho. We can’t do that... we can’t fall back into the same issues again...I’m moving on, and I want you to as well. I... I want you to be happy. I really do.” 

It was like the world around him shattered. His head was pounding with an almost fiery pain, and the ringing in his ears only got louder. He knew the other was speaking, but he couldn’t hear it anymore. His vision was blurry, black spots floating around the air. His alpha caught him as he fell, the room spinning. But he wasn’t his alpha. He wasn’t his anything anymore. Even in his most blissful dream he’s had in months, Seoho couldn’t have Geonhak. 

His world turned pitch black. 

————————————————————————

Geonhak helped lay Seoho down on the couch as he passed out, throwing a blanket over him. A single tear fell from the beta’s closed eyes, and Geonhak gently wiped it away before setting a glass of water and pain killers on the coffee table for Seoho to take when he woke up. His own eyes stung with tears, but he wiped them away, stopping in the hallway to take a few deep, calming breathes. It was difficult to have Seoho in his arms again, confessing to him, and not take him back right away. He wanted nothing more than to kiss him back and wipe away all that pain that was left in his eyes. 

But he couldn’t. 

Not with Dongju waiting for him downstairs. Not when he finally started to get some sort of closure from their break-up. Not when be knew mow that they would just fall back into the same pattern of Seoho being gone all the time and Gaeonhak waiting for him. That’s why he had to tell him. He knew Seoho overheard the conversation he had earlier with Youngjo and Yonghoon, but he had to tell Seoho himself. Dongju was his boyfriend now, and he couldn’t just go back to Seoho—no matter how much he wanted to. 

“How is he?” Dongju asked with a soft smile, intertwining their hands when Geonhak came down the stairs. He didn’t know who Seoho was, but he had been very understanding when Geonhak said he wanted to help the drunk man home. He was honestly a bit afraid to tell Dongju who he was. Seoho lived off scholarship and grant money, and Dongju could take that all away with with one text message to his mother. While the beta was learning to behave more, he has seen him attempt to take scholarships away before. However, it was also unfair to not tell him what happened, but he found himself unwilling to actually talk about that kiss. He’d take that to the grave. 

“He passed out,” the alpha answered squeezing his hand. 

“Who is he? A friend?” 

Geonhak sighed. He hoped he wouldn’t ask, but he wasn’t going to lie. “He’s my ex.” 

Dongju let out a little “ahh,” but didn’t question him any further. He knew a bit about Seoho and the situations from what Geonhak had told him, so perhaps he didn’t have anything else to ask. “He’s very handsome.” 

Geonhak looked down at the smaller man, not exactly sure how to respond to that. “He.. yeah, he is,” he found himself saying, a light blush on his cheeks. Even silly drunk, Seoho was beautiful. His roots were starting to show, his glasses were falling off like always, and his hair was a mess, but he still was breath-taking. He shook his head at the thought, bringing Dongju’s hand to his lips to kiss. “You’re handsome too, though.” 

He laughed, lips forming a heart shape that Geonhak was slowly starting to love more and more. “Oh, I know. You must have good taste in men.” Once again, Geonhak wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. He never dated anyone besides Seoho, but he wasn’t sure how normal it was to talk so casually about how attractive someone’s ex was. But there was a playful glint in Dongju’s eyes, and something else that Geonhak couldn’t quite read as the beta swung their hands back and forth. They were walking aimlessly at this point, not really caring where they went. “We’re close to my place,” the younger man spoke, looking up at Geonhak through his long lashes. The moonlight dances on his face, accentuating his sparkling eyes. “Do you want to come over?” 

The implications were clear as the beta bit his lip, looking down a bit shyly. Geonhak paused, thinking. Seeing Seoho tonight was completely unexpected—it twisted his whole world and threw him for a loop—but it almost felt right. He was able to tell him to move on, and that he was on the path too. He could have taken him back right then and there, but he didn’t. He could have kissed him back with all the passion and love he once felt, but he didn’t. Something stopped him—no, he chose not do it. Each step brought him closer and closer to the edge of closure. All that was left was for him to take that final dive, to jump into the pool of finally getting over Lee Seoho and being happy again. 

So he finally jumped over that edges 

“I’d like that.”


End file.
